one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
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