I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
worst night to have a conscience
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
