Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
