is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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