he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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