you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
