it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
