come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
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We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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