Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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