If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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