Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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