didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
