things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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