Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
