Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
