come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
