great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
