look no pants
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow