physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just had sex on a roof
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
did i just pee glitter