i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
