Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
