I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
