just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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