kristin has been a bad kristin
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
