new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
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It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
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Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize