HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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