For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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