I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
someone owes me an orgasm
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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