let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
