We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
