I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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