Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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