i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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