Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
