For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
