Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
3pm strippers are depressing
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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