Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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