uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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