My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wish you could order shots online.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
