I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
