im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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