Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
