you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
