Do you still have your period?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
