And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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