Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
