dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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