I love black thongs
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
