she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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