i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
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I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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