oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
