I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
