i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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