My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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