So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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