I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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