I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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