i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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