I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
