I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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