you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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