Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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