you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
only if we run a train.
done.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
