Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
